17 September 2009

Strength During Adversity

This last week and a half or so has made me so grateful for what I do have in my life.

In the last couple weeks, we have had two clients who experienced intrauterine fetal demise...aka stillbirth after 20 weeks gestation. There is nothing like trying to find fetal heart tones when there are none. Everyone holding their breath...praying, wishing, hoping. As an apprenticing midwife, you truly dont expect that THIS (let alone two incidences at nearly the same time) can happen so soon into your apprenticeship or at all for that matter...but the reality of it is...it happens when it happens. I am not so green as to have never seen death...or even the death of a baby. But this has been a humbling and insightful and tender week for everyone involved.

Both of these mothers are so strong. I know they probably dont feel like they are but...they have been an inspiration...as well as their babies. These mothers, and their families, walk in a path of grief with such grace at such a tender time. I am utterly amazed.

I feel honored and blessed to have taken even a small part in these experiences with these families. To have known these sweet souls for even a moment has been so overwhelmingly special. They have taught me so much in their short time here.

These two sweet little souls will forever be in my heart. <3

16 September 2009

First Post!

So, here we go! I havent been able to keep up with my personal blog but I need to keep a journal of sorts for all my midwifery endeavors. So, I decided to start a new blog. I will have you know that many names and things might be changed (such as specifics of curriculum etc) unless folks specifically tell me they dont mind their name out on the internets. That being said, here I go!

So, I want to explain how I got to where I am today: When I was 12, I had a dream. I dreamt that I helped ladies have babies. I remember waking up and feeling so content and happy about the dream. I also remember promptly telling my mom about the dream. She, to this day, encourages my "calling" to helping mamas have babies by reminding me of that morning.

Many years later, I thought the road to doing that was through nursing. I thought for a while I wanted to be a Certified Nurse Midwife. I studied at community college for many years as I continually applied to various nursing schools. After 3 years of applying and not getting in, I decided to look into midwifery schools in the area. I told myself that if I didnt get into nursing school that year I was going to change my path (little did I know, my path would be changed for me in the future). So, I was accepted at the last second to Concordia University where I studied Nursing for two years to recieve my Bachelors of Science in Nursing. I really wanted to become a Labor and Delivery nurse. My very first interview out of nursing school was for an L&D floor at a local hospital. I wasnt hired. I was bummmmmmed. To say the least. So, I interviewed again, this time for a position in Women and Childrens Services which encompassed working on a Postpartum floor, NICU and Pediatrics. I got the job.
I still currently work as a nurse for the time being.

During my first year of working as a nurse, my husband and I got pregnant! When that occured I instantly knew that I didnt want to have my baby at the hospital. I sought out a midwife that had the same views on birth and pregnancy that I do. I felt instantly comfortable with her and her apprentice! <3

I always knew that midwifery care was unique and I was drawn to it. I have always thought I would have my own child at home. During my pregnancy, the more I read and experienced care in which I was ultimately in the drivers seat, the more I knew how right midwifery care was for me...not only for my own pregnancy but also for the type of "nursing" that I wanted to do. My son was born in August. I continued to seek out information and educate myself about the midwifery scene here and there. I kept in contact with my midwives. And in January, my apprenticeship sort of just fell into place! So, here I am!

I am loving it. It feels right for me...and I am grateful for the path that I have taken to get here. If I had chosen any other path to midwifery I wouldnt have met the inspirational midwives, women and families that I have.

A potential client of ours asked me the other day why I wanted to become a midwife or something to that effect....my answer, after a brief explanation of how I got to where I am, was that "midwives are what nurses used to be"....And I really believe that.